I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My penis needs a shock collar
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
