Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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