and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
being pregnant is like rehab
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
