i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
