worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
