just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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