He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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