The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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