Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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