God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
