I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
