You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize