You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
