hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
