I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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