Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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