Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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