it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She bit a glass in half.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
