he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
