mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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