do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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