I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
