he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
