Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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