I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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