This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I look better un-naked...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I FOUND THE LEGS
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
