Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
