Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
