he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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