Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
