Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
