what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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