Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I want to fling myself into the sun
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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