My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize