I wish my penis had an off switch
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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