it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
