My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
