If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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