she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
