So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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