I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
