just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
