just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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