my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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