Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
