Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
