I'm going to jail i love you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize