And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
