I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize