ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
