Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
