Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
