goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
