i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
