Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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