found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize