They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize