Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
