so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
