is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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